The Fat, the Insult, and Smoking

Therapists do a lot of things. One of the things we do, assuming we do work with couples, is referee. We get right in the middle, call fouls, yell at people to be nice.

And if they come in as individuals, alone, without a spouse or a partner, if they have issues with conflict, we'll discuss some of their more livelier interactions. We'll tear apart the interactional sequences of some of their bigger episodes. The explosions, the latest in ConflictVille, that place many couples call home.

Here's where body and soul function as interdependent systems. They do this right here in this land. It's why therapists who work without the benefit of a medical doc as a consultant must feel so powerless sometimes. (While most therapists probably work with one, not everyone does, and surely not all therapydocs get to talk about medical problems at breakfast with theirs).

My medical consultant not only shares the kitchen, but the whole house, although he probably feels the yard is his, certainly the tomatoes.

Anyway, let's use this example:

A therapist will tell someone who smokes, "You gotta' quit smoking. It will kill you."

And she'll send that person to someone for help with that, probably a medical doctor or maybe a hypnotherapist. I recommend first the doc, then the psychologist. If I can recommend the guy who does my yard, cause I trust his medical judgment and he consults back, I will. But we don't take patients away from their primary care docs, and I'll gladly call them, which explains why I'm constantly on the phone. Systems therapists never quit.

Anyway, the smoker will quit smoking, but might start eating.

And if they're a conflictual couple, the one who doesn't smoke, in the heat of conflict, might insult the one who does, who is an over-eater. Might even say, "Fatso."

And the over-eater will start smoking again.

Which is why a primary care doc, or a hypnotherapist, should a patient consult this person first, should probably also have a family/marital/even individual therapist on the case, too, before starting someone on the patch or doing the hocus-pocus. If at all possible.

Just a thought.

LIN

Social Work or Psychology: It's all just talk

I'm a doctor, a PhD, meaning I worked for years to research a topic, write and publish a dissertation, and specialize in things.

But I'm also a social worker. And social workers always feel they're second rate, and they're not. But no question, psychologists get more respect.

But we're born social, we start out this way, social. And if we're healthy, and continue to be social, we may as well do it right, because life's all about social tests.

So it would be nice if we could pass them, and frankly, this is where social workers really rock, strut their stuff. And I'm just going to say it, we're better at family systems, because we get more education. We're not burnt out getting our Masters, and we'll try harder, we'll get certification in a zillion other things.

And when we get old, maybe even a PhD.

But at the end of the day, if you go to a school that trains family therapists, you'll be getting that marital-family therapy licensure right alongside medical doctors, pastoral counselors, psychologist, nurses, virtually anyone who can talk their way into the program.

LIN

Falling Asleep on the Patient

It can be tough living with a doctor. If I complain about my sedentary job and lack of exercise, he'll say,

"So I guess you have to eat less. Or get more exercise."

He says this at his own risk because if I do, by the time I get home from work, I'm pretty tired and grumpy.

But I gotta' say. If a person eats less, the likelihood of falling asleep on patients is lesser. This is to be avoided at all costs, if you're a therapist, falling asleep while working.

It is also why we have sofas in our office, nice, comfy sofas.

LIN

Why Blog? Why the Center?

Bloggers usually let off a little steam, complain a little, this is what blogs are all about.

And therapy is about this, too.

But for me, this blog is to have some fun, make a few connections between body and soul. If you're a therapist and you live with a doctor, these connections are forever in the forefront of your mind.

The Body and Soul idea is central to the Chicago Interactional Dynamics Center, a work in progress. It's located in Skokie, ironically. Why wouldn't a center called the Chicago Interactional Dynamics Center be located in Skokie?

This place is considered psycho-educational, meaning people who attend workshops or join groups will learn about the dynamics of relationships, the importance of making them work, from student-teacher, to parent-child, to partner-partner.

This helps everything else. All of the individual issues of life are better faced with relationship skill. Everything goes better with friends, basically.

LIN